I get a trillion emails a second and most of them say similar stuff....don't get me wrong, I love to read your views and stuff but there are a bunch of questions and statements that pop up a lot. Here's a slagbag of frequently asked questions, that I have answered to save you and me some time.
"When are you going to update? "
Now.
"your T-shirts are priced in Dollars, can I buy them if I live in [insert country] ?"
You can buy T-shirts whatever country you live in, we ship all over the world. They are priced in Dollars because the company that prints them (Cafepress) are based in the USA. If you have a credit card you can buy them from what ever currency you use, and because the Dollar is so weak at the moment, it'll cost you less.
Take a look at the exchange rate here
"do you use a graphics tablet to draw your animations? "
No, I draw everything with the mouse. *Update* I finally have a graphics tablet - a Wacom Intuos3. I don't know how I ever managed without it.
"What font do you use for the Salad Fingers writing? "
I don't use a font, I draw it freehand as the writing wriggles about and animated fonts aren't available (I don't think anyway) but if you'd like a normal non-moving Salad Fingers font then I have designed my own! Download it here - it's freeware so you don't need to ask permission to use it. If you find any problems with it, then email me as there's always room for improvement.
"Are you going to ever make a Salad Fingers Movie?"
There already is one. Keanu Reeves plays Salad Fingers and Dustin Hoffman plays Hubert Cumberdale. Its one of those films that's got a really strong blue/green filter on the lens all the time and is mainly filmed in underground car parks.
Cast
Salad Fingers: Keanu Reeves
Hubert Cumberdale: Dustin Hoffman
Jeremy Fisher: Ice Cube
Marjory Stewart Baxter: Avril Lavigne
The Little Yellow Kid: Sting
"David, I've looked all over the internet and I can't find anything about that Salad Fingers Movie you mentioned "
Sigh.......
"Can I link to your page from mine? "
Sure you can! Links are always welcome. If you'd like a banner then there are loads here
"how can I make my own Flash cartoons?"
Download a free trial of Macromedia Flash from www.macromedia.com and get ready to be frustrated by it for at least a few months - stick at it though, it's rewarding when you get your head around it.
"can you email me when you make a new cartoon/do another episode"
Join the mailing list. Crust has agreed to take on the task of pumping out a semi-regular newsletter so sign up and get ready to melt.
"how can I make my own music"
Get a guitar/piano/sax/bassoon. If you want to record it get Adobe Audition, Acid Pro or Cubase. If you want to sequence beats and synths then get Reason. Remember, the microphone imput on your pc is a bag of shit.....use the line in with a preamp.
"what music is used in your cartoons"
It's all on the Music Used page......if not then I guess you just imagined it or I'm a slack ass when it comes to updating that page. A swift email in my direction should sort that out.
"is that Devvo guy real? "
Yes! He's absolutely genuine. His stories are probably lies and exaggerations though
"It's my friend's birthday can you make them an episode of Salad Fingers/Burnt Face Man....."
What? Do you think I can just knock one up in 10 minutes? Absolutely no chance.
".....I'm prepared to pay you"
It'll cost you £50,000.
"can you put me/my friend in one of your future animations? "
No that would be crap! Why would I do that?
"How do you come up with your ideas"
Every morning I find them under my fingernails.
"Can you use my music in your cartoons? "
Possibly, Send me some and I might just use it. You'll get credited of course. The music for Video dating Tape was submitted by an unsigned artist called Sebastian Svanh, and the Burnt Face Man music was composed especially by Datach'i. I'm always on the look out for more ambient/moody/creepy/strange music so email it to me or send me a website link. *Update* I still want you to send me your music, but don't just send the tracks to my email, upload them somewhere and send me the links as my gmail is dangerously close to being full. yousendit.com rapidshare.de are my suggestions.
"Can I help you write future episodes?"
No. Do not send ideas or suggestions for episodes....I was told that I stole the idea for Salad Fingers 5 from a post on the forum a week before it came out.....A WEEK??? How quickly do you think I turn an idea into a script and then draw and animate it in flash?? If you have ideas then animate them yourself or look on the newgrounds forums, there are a lot of animators in need of ideas.....once again do not send ideas or suggestions for anything!
"I know you said don't send ideas, but here's mine anyway "
Email deleted!
Stuff I'm definitely going to ignore.
"Updating my address book "
Some cack to do with a site called BEBO where people send out bulk wank spam emails asking you to fill in your details on some crappy address book. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, people please stop requesting that I add myself to your address book. I won't. Straight in the spam folder. It's gotten to the point where I'm setting up filters deleting any email that has the word Friendster/Flixter/Bebo/Wayn etc. in the subject line. I can't make it clear enough.
"FW: Funny pic/Chainmail/Birthday Calendar updating/FW:Bonsai Kittens "
I just block this crap. Don't send this to me or anyone.
"come and join my friends network"
No no no no! You're wasting your time sending this crap to me because there is no way I'm gonna join up a stupid friend network with people who's usernames are based on Final Fantasy characters.
*update* I no longer use MSN messenger.
this picture might be worth a look if you're one of those types that complains when I don't reply on MSN
"David I reckon you're a dick because you sound like one on your FAQ page and you didn't reply to my email"
Animating a cartoon is not something you can do in an hour while you're waiting for Friends to come on the TV, it can take weeks, months and sometimes years. I'm not part of an animating team, I don't have runners and supervisors to take some of the workload. Sometimes I call on the powers of Crust for voices and to write scripts with but apart from that it's me sat at a computer for so long that my eyes, back, fingers and brain hurts. I don't clock off at 6pm, I don't have breaks every 15 minutes, I just sit here and work until I'm so sick of looking at the screen and I have to stop. If you expect me to answer every email that I get just because it's politely written and pump out a new cartoon every month then you must think I'm some kind of futuristic robot. This page is here so that people can get quick answers to questions that have been answered a quillion times before. The people that are angry because I oppose to chain emails, friends networks and inviting me to bebo are idiots. There's nothing more to it. Idiots. Those types of email waste my time, and therefore slow the whole progress of this site down. If you think I'm a cock then fine, just keep it to yourselves or post it on some forum where you can spread ridiculously exaggerated rumours about me and discuss how shit I am.
"You're a sell out because you had stuff on TV "
You think it paid well? HAH!
That's all for now folks. Now you know the answers to these important questions, you can send me something interesting, send me your wisdom and hatred: fatpiemail@gmail.com
Don't send me stuff I have to pay for though. Adverts have no place in my inbox |
